Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."
- Helen Keller

(Excuse this insensitive knee-jerk reaction, but what the hell would Helen Keller know about looking at doors.)

My door of happiness this week has been Constitutional Law class. I had a feeling, from day one, that this particular door would start slowly sliding backwards against the ragged carpet of my steadfast will, but I certainly didn't expect to rip my own rug out from under me and let the door hit me in the face.
I mean, I'm supposed to be logical. I'm supposed to be an excellent communicator. Why am I the only one who stumbles over words and holds up the rest of the class while I dig frantically for my pocket Constitution? Why can't I escape my own ethical filters that keep me from finding the good in bad decisions? I wanted to go to law school, but now I can't stand to think of two years of my life devoted to a process of browsing instead of analyzing, manipulating instead of understanding, and slithering through vague arguments for justice, snatching pieces to fit my own ends.
So what is Emily now? A psychology major. For some reason, this feels like a defeat. I'm immensely interested in the field and the faculty fully supports my decision. It's just that going from the literal "study of conflict" to the study of cognitive processes and emotions seems like a downgrade. Instead of writing a paper on Korematsu v. U.S. I'll be researching hope vs. optimism.

It's okay, though, because all the students in the pre-law department are pretentious assholes, and I won't miss a single one of them.
posted by Emily at 4:17 PM |

2 Comments:

At September 10, 2008 at 10:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said........
Can I change my major too? I really want to do something that I'm good at or that won't kick my ass in return; but where in the hell am I going to discover one of those?

I'm glad you got out of that. I don't see you putting up with the bullshittery of Law School.
 


At September 11, 2008 at 7:55 AM, Blogger Candace said........
i'm happy for you that you decided to change, but sad for the world of law because there goes another intelligent ethical human being who had the potential to be one of the only genuine law students ever

but this suits your beautiful brain and heart so much better.