Thursday, November 6, 2008
posted by Emily at 1:37 PM | 0 comments
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The economy, for lack of more intelligent commentary, sucks balls right now. So why hasn't Starbucks slashed its rather exorbitant prices on what is essentially flavored milk, and why have they instead jacked up their prices and increased their aggressive feel-good advertising? Even the most finicky of coffee snobs must eventually come to terms with the fact that the green, dual-tailed Siren is no longer a symbol of hip pseudo-affluence, but an emblem of low quality and corporate greed. I predict that, in five years, we will be watching VH1's "I <3 the New Millenium: Version 2.0" and there will be an entire montage chock-full of D-list celebrities talking about how the Frappuccino changed their life. Long, long ago.

Pathetic, but after dropping out of college, blindly applying to different institutions that I haven't really researched and don't really want to attend, I have taken a week of pure Starbucks mentality. Not only am I working full-time at the Ole Buxx, but I've put my pressing problems on the back burner in exchange for bite-size, short-term satisfaction. I crocheted a hat. I've lost five pounds. I recorded a song parody of "What Is This Feeling?", I've started writing a book, and I've had serious conversations with my mom about moving to California and trying to make it as a performer.

"You mean," said a perplexed Mom, "Like, a street performer?"

Maybe I just have difficulty seeing the long-term happiness that a college degree would give me. Nonetheless, I can't shake the euphoria I get when completing some low-quality, high-creativity task that makes one or two people smile. When I think of packing up my room again and crash landing in some other Psychology department, I feel like I'm just putting myself in the same Skinner box and bracing myself for the same shocks from the same electrified grid.

I'm worried, worried, worried.

But John McCain is really, really, really funny on Saturday Night Live right now.

*sips Grande Pumpkin Spice Americano, writes self a check for $1,000,000*
posted by Emily at 11:45 PM | 2 comments
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Don't worry, I'm going back.

Just not back there.
posted by Emily at 2:15 PM | 2 comments
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
It's very important that I am important but if I cannot be important in the beautiful way that women are important then I will find splashy backdrops where an ordinario can stand out as the centerpiece or centerfold of the advertisement that I can send over the wiry currents to sell the persona of the it girl creating the product for the consumptive audience for what could possibly be better than to be desired? -
perhaps to be consumed
posted by Emily at 3:08 PM | 2 comments
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
If only the eyedrops I take to prevent my blood vessels from creeping up around my perpetually dry contact lenses were actually an antidepressant opthalmic solution. I'd be the happiest person with bloodshot eyes around.

Our dog Riley got caught on the fence this week. No, I'm not referring to her indecision about the upcoming election. (although she is probably the most rational mind in the Miller household regarding inflammatory topics like car privileges and Obamaphilia, and I'm sure she's the type who would vote for whomever we expressed the least amount of hatred for) I'm referring to the latch on our gate piercing her side, Passion of the Boxer style, and finding her limping around the backyard with an ominous air pocket by her back leg.

I really hope she's okay.
posted by Emily at 5:54 PM | 2 comments
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."
- Helen Keller

(Excuse this insensitive knee-jerk reaction, but what the hell would Helen Keller know about looking at doors.)

My door of happiness this week has been Constitutional Law class. I had a feeling, from day one, that this particular door would start slowly sliding backwards against the ragged carpet of my steadfast will, but I certainly didn't expect to rip my own rug out from under me and let the door hit me in the face.
I mean, I'm supposed to be logical. I'm supposed to be an excellent communicator. Why am I the only one who stumbles over words and holds up the rest of the class while I dig frantically for my pocket Constitution? Why can't I escape my own ethical filters that keep me from finding the good in bad decisions? I wanted to go to law school, but now I can't stand to think of two years of my life devoted to a process of browsing instead of analyzing, manipulating instead of understanding, and slithering through vague arguments for justice, snatching pieces to fit my own ends.
So what is Emily now? A psychology major. For some reason, this feels like a defeat. I'm immensely interested in the field and the faculty fully supports my decision. It's just that going from the literal "study of conflict" to the study of cognitive processes and emotions seems like a downgrade. Instead of writing a paper on Korematsu v. U.S. I'll be researching hope vs. optimism.

It's okay, though, because all the students in the pre-law department are pretentious assholes, and I won't miss a single one of them.
posted by Emily at 4:17 PM | 2 comments
Monday, September 8, 2008
In case you've been living in a hole the past two weeks, Sarah Palin's daughter is pregnant. She has chosen to keep the child and marry the father. Good for her. My problem comes from Sarah Palin's argument that her daughter shouldn't have to choose.

This will be brief, because I realize by posting this entry at all I'm stoking the fires of some serious hell to pay if people have the wrong reactions.

I believe that there is no greater decision than the decision to bring human life into the world.

If I become pregnant, I will choose responsibility over the life of which I have become a steward. My life will have become inextricably bound with another, and morally I would see no other option for myself.

If I live in a world where I do not have that choice - where my reproductive system essentially belongs to a higher authority which regulates my decision to conceive, then I feel as though that higher authority has deemed me irresponsible and incapable of making the decision myself.

Somehow, I know this is wrong. If I cannot choose to put a child into the world for whom I can be loving, responsible, and present, than parenthood becomes a task rather than a blessing.

Overturn Roe v. Wade, and we will not see a decline in extramartial sexual activity or in unwanted pregnancies. We probably won't even see a decline in abortions. Abortions will likely be in high demand, expensive, and performed in unsafe conditions. I agree with most politicians that we should end federal funding towards abortions as a moral imperative, but allow the states to decide their own systems of regulating the process.

I'm interested to hear your thoughts, especially if they clash terribly with mine, and especially if you are incensed by my stance.
posted by Emily at 5:49 PM | 2 comments